My name is Kayla and I am the creator of Home, Heart, Happiness. First, a little about me. I am a small town girl from Mid-Missouri. I am the mother of a spirited little girl, the wife of an engineer, a full-time Family Nurse Practitioner, a wanna-be photographer (AKA: mamarazzi), and a self-declared foodie.
There are many reasons that I wanted to start this blog, a couple of which I will share now…and just maybe I’ll share more in the future. After 22 straight years of being a student, I’m a little lost now that I’ve graduated and have no assignments due (it’s been three whole months!). While I pursued my education as a nurse practitioner, I successfully shoved my creative side way deep down inside me. That burning desire to create has slowly been creeping back and I’ve decided to do something about it.
The second reason is that I have a soft spot for teaching and education (why else would I have spent 22 of my 28 years in school?). I would love to be a nursing instructor. There is only one catch, I am deathly afraid of public speaking. I don’t mean afraid of the dark kind of afraid. I mean the full fledged panic attacks. The kind that make you feel like you are going to die any minute, the uncontrollable shakes, respirations become dangerously fast, the feeling that you need to swallow every 2 seconds but when you do you suddenly question whether you ate cotton for breakfast. My heart jumps to my throat and beats uncontrollably, blood pressure rises to a level high enough for risk of stroke, my stomach twists and turns in directions I didn’t know possible.
All the while I say to myself, “Kayla, you are being ridiculous!”, “stop it, Kayla!”, “everyone else is doing the same thing as you and they aren’t about to pee their pants!”. Either I don’t listen to myself or it doesn’t help, I’m not sure which. I actually bawled like a baby the first time I had to public speak after my daughter was born. As I kissed her good-bye for the day, I thought I was going to die on the spot and would never see her again. The sad part is, I was speaking to a crowd of around 10, all of which I had known for at least two years. Yes folks, ridiculous I know. It’s debilitating. I almost didn’t go to graduate school in anticipation of defending my DNP project. I think you get the picture. For those of you panic/anxiety attackers out there, you aren’t alone.
I am hoping this blog can be a platform to share information and knowledge, to educate, to share tips, and to inspire from the safety of my sweatpants. I am usually a very private person so the transparency that this is going to cost is a little daunting. I don’t know if my life is interesting enough, if I’m creative enough, or if I have the wealth of knowledge to make this successful. We will see! I hope to dabble in a little bit of everything, so stay tuned and let the adventures begin!